Saturday, 19 September 2009.

♥

Peparations.

I am dealing with a lot of changes. Expected ones and of course, unexpected ones. I know that changes occurs naturally but some changes requires CHOICE. It's either this or that. Whatever choice we make, we have to face the consequences that's going to tail along with it. But some change can turn out so drastic that it hurts people around you and you not knowing it. Why am I talking about changes? It's because at this point of time , I'm facing a change that I myself am not ready to face it not expect it. But then, I wish her every happiness in life. Even though I teared a lot upon thinking about her and the possibilities, may this choice of hers be a blessed one. Amieeeen.

Saturday 9th , a day which I am not longing for. Why? Coz it will be Raya the very next day. I slept 1/2 hour after my sahur and started off cleaning up my cupboard in the praying room. I was sad. Why? I have not touch that cupboard since I left my sec four. Memories. Too precious. Mama asked me to throw away some unused stuff so that it wont be messy. I looked through one by one and I get all emotional. Every little thing in there has its own memory tagged along. As I flip though some papers, I cam across writings, drawings and more. Those were my earlier stage of growing up days. I feel like shutting those cupboard doors and not wanting to throw any of them. Be it the smallest pieces of paper. But then I think again, I have to get this over with. Now or never. Besides, life has to go on. Without flipping or reading through anymore, I dumped most of it inside the trash bag. Trust me, it's difficult. Not only sec4 stuff, there's also p6 stuffs. What was it? It was letters. Letters that I get from friends, be it in the same class or not. I still keep them nicely in a hello kitty plastic bag. But I threw them away today. That's my choice. It's veryyyy hard but I just have to. So in the end, the trash bag was full and sent out for dispose. I've made my choice, but I still keep half of them. Not fully ready to let all of them go. Maybe next year? I may consider using that cupboard for new set of memories. (: We'll wait and see.

With my henna-ed hand, Charles & Keith high heels, my Baju Raya and scarf, I guess, I'm ready for Raya. But nothings exciting besides meeting my little nieces and nephews tomorrow. Oh, and not forgetting, Nyai & Mama's sambal goreng. ((: I'll eat my heart out. ^^

Take care.

Changes.