Tuesday, 27 January 2009.

♥

One last kiss.


"Nyai, du'akan Nurul ehk."
"InsyaAllah.."
"Nyai rehat ehk."
"*nodded*"

Those were her last words. All of us decided to go for a visit a little earlier than previous days. We reached at 1pm. I was drown in my own tears. I couldn't help myself. She was already unconcious. The four of us (my sisters & I) sat on the floor in her room which was in the SICU. Her fingers were all blue-black. Shortly after, the family of Nyai Mis as called by the doctor for a little discussion. so Mum, Nyai Minah, my sisters and me waited in her room with Nyai Mis. & it's sad when we saw tears flowing from Nyai Mis's eyes. I read the yasin again but this time, in her ears.

Shortly after that, we sat outside to calm ourselves down when Aunty Marni came out with her eyes red & explained to us the situation. We all went inside again & recite the yasin again. One by one started coming in. The room was quite full with her children. But, one wasn't there. Still in Australia. Trying to get home. She was put on the phone & was asked to talked to her ailing mother. I couldn't hold my tears. Mama was trying her best to keep every one of her children calm by asking them to say out the kalimah syahadah in her ears. Then, a 4 year old little boy, Iman, her grandchild, came in with his father. He was already drown in tears when he saw his grandma lying helplessly on the bed. He walked beside her, and was told to do the same thing. After he did that, he cried hard & his mother calmed him down.

Not long after that, it was time. & she's gone. Innalillahi wainna ilahi raji'un. Allah loves her. (: Alhamdulillah, when we came today, she looks calmer than she was yesterday. I know she's a strong lady. Very strong. Before i left the room, i gave one last kiss on her cold forehead. I hugged Aunty Marni, Bik Dewi & Bik Wati and all i can say to them was, be strong. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul.

We make our way home and i was watching Nyai Minah. I remebered her words in the room just now as she kissed Nyai Mis when we just came, "Mis, Mis. Aku datang ni. Kesiannye adik aku." She's now the only grandma I have. & I know she's trying so hard to be strong. I know it's hard to lost her only sibling left & her best friend whom she calls everyday. She's hiding it behind the smiles.

I was and still affected by the loss. She has left a great impact on me and my life. There's just too many sweet memories. & I will keep them all in my heart. I will cherish it all. & my prayers will always be with her too.


"Nyai slalu du'akan kejayaan Nurul. Nurul pun du'akan nyai."
"InsyaAllah, terima kasih Nyai.."



i've lost a portion of me.