Wednesday, 23 January 2008.
♥
I’m listening to some sad songs now.. hmm.. don’t know why.. but.. hmm..All or nothing by O-Town.. brought tears to my eyes.. the lyrics really touched my heart..
(urm..actually ade kene mengene uhh gitu..)
I wasn’t in my usual mood today.. it started from yesterday night.. sebak didada.. haiz.. stop it lahh.. =(( well, I didn’t walk with my sisters today.. I walked alone.. I didn’t even say goodbye to them at traffic light.. hmm.. don’t know why.. The moment I put my bag, I sat down.. thinking.. really deep.. gawd. Why cant I stop this feeling?? Gosh. Tak suke ahh.. well, unexpectedly, AtiQah noticed. I was speechless.. makin dia tanye, makin sebak plak didada.. knp nie.. I want to let it out to her.. but no,no.. I wont ever let them know why.. let me keep this for myself.. let me figure things out.. let me decide.. =S
Itll be hard coz im keeping it to myself.. but hey, in the end its you who’ll be going through it. Not them. Its me myself & i.. hmm..
And, Farahin is one very lucky young lady.. =)
Why..?? Upon hearing her story abt what ust. Fathurrahman told her regarding some matter, I realised that she is one very lucky young lady.. I envy her ehh.. hihi..
And,
Kadangkala bende yang kte harap sgt tu lah yg akan mengecewekan kte..
Haiz..
To love is To let go..
Confusion.. =((
In other words, like what Jamilah told me..
To love is sacrifice.. hmm..
Sedihnyerr.. knp ehh..
Knp lahh saya mengharapkan pd sesuatu yang tak pasti..??
Sedangkan saya tawu bhw ianya hanya sia2..
ia akan menyakitkan.. melukakan..
Knp susah sgt utk saya melepaskan..?? Ive never felt so confused like this..
Knp.. knp..
(FYI, its not abt Am ehh..)
What bonch have said during the sola time really struck me..
Urm.. she was partly right.. naseb dier tk teke dgn tepat.. klw tk, she’s gonna think tat im ridiculous.. Pheewwh.
For once, I’m really scared to open up about this matter to anyone..
=S tkpelahh.. hmm..
Suddenly tringt smlm.. hihi.. ablek kul 10mlm.hee.. urm.. to you.. (you know who you are ehh..) maaf krn ktorg lmbt.. tk sengaje.. im so sorry.. haiz.. rase bersalah sgt.. kesian awk menanti.. den kat dlm bus tu ternmpk bulan penuh.. kte tk sure awk nmpk ke tk.. coz awk sdg tido mcm bear kn.. hihi.. =)) haha! Aft tat bile otw nk gi ruma dier, kene kacau2 plak.. haiz.. dahla kte nie penakot.. beh korg jln depan tinggalkn kte sorg2.. takotlah! Hihi. =)) ahahah, n skali tym tgh merepek2, adek awk lalu dpn plak.. o’ohh..ops. hahaha. Hee.. takot ahh.. tp hepi dpt tgk muke adek awk.. huhu~.. hee.. jgn jeles yerr.. rindu adek awklah seyyh. Huhu~ k,crapness.
Ah, ah, & ternyate rumah awk & rumah jiran awk tklah begitu jauh ehh.. in fact, dekat! Huhu~~ so, its possible uh ehh. Tkyalah susa2 naik krete.. save it for the mas kahwin lg bgs.. so, jln kaki sudahlah yerr.. Exercise.. kn exercise bgs.. healthy lifestyle.. wohoo.. style.. nnt klw nk bwk jiran awk ke majlis awk plak, awk angkat dier..or vice versa.. woohoo.. romanticnyer.. wakakaakakaakakah!
Kkk?? Hihi.. wee~~ wahh.. nnt bile dah sah, tkyalah nk rebut2 gi ruma mertue yg mane arini, yg mane utk besok, coz due2 boleh dlm satu hari! Huhu~~
Ah, sng, korg nnt bli ruma kat tgh2 lah ehh.. huhu~~
Kte lehh imagine taw!!! Funny though.. but its possible.. hee..
To Bear
To AtiQah, sabar ehh dear.. im with you.. Jgn biarkan diri awk tewas. Ok?
To Fadila, awk.. sabar k.. =))
To Farahin, *winks*. Hihi.
To Fazilah, da smpkn salammu.. haha. & tkmo ehh. Mcm2 je awk nie..
To Best buddy, its almost time! Woo~ countdown! Haha! Hp barulah seyyh. VIEWTY kape.. hihi.. ah, & no. baru awk mcm akan2 no. Bear lah seyh. Hihi. Dah hafal da.. huh~
To ’Athifah, hehe.. hee.. *winks*
Smiles.
Laughter.
But still my heart’s bleeding..
No one will know.
No one.
& sometimes, the slightest word they quote can cut you real deep down inside without they knowing.. =S & I am now in that situation.. I don’t blame that person, coz that person doesn’t know..
Listening to this song & studying the lyrics reminded me of someone..
This is how I feel..
The words exactly fit the situation I’m in..
di malam yang sunyi
dudukku termenung seorang diri
di jendela sepi
hingga dini hari
ku menanti kepulanganmu
namun kata hanya sekadar
tinggal kata-kata..
bagaikan melukut ditepi gantang
begitulah aku di dalam hidupmu,/u>
ada tiada tak memberi kesan
hanya aku yang menanggung kerinduan…
dulu pernah kau katakan sayang
ingin mendengar ku berlagu riang
menawar duka lara ku
lupakan saja derita yang berlalu…
tapi mengapa dirimu kasih
ibarat lalang ditiup angin
kasih mu diracun oleh kata fitnah
penuh hina
hingga kini
kau biarkan saja
diriku mananggung sepi
dengan irama dukaku yang
tak bermakna bagimu…
hmm.. tkpelahh, ive decided to move on.. I respect the decision that has been made.
Besides, I still have the others.. =)) My world is nothing without them.. hee.. haha. =))
“Betapa sukarnya menyusun bicara, meluahkan rasa, menuturkan sayang…” =S
Labels: memendamkan rasa.
